


A Thousand Cranes in a Heart Shaped Box

by MillicentCordelia



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Longing, Love, M/M, Magic, Romance, Shapeshifting, Supernatural events, Werepenguin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-25
Updated: 2015-09-25
Packaged: 2018-04-23 07:09:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4867766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MillicentCordelia/pseuds/MillicentCordelia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We are all born believing in magic; as we grow up, we have that belief educated out of us. If we’re lucky, something happens to restore our faith. This is a story about a flightless bird, a hero with a heart of stone, and the transformative power of real magic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bird Moon

**Author's Note:**

> This work was written for Gobblepot Week, 2015; For day Five, Alternate Universe; and is dedicated to Scarefox, who posted the prompt for a Jim/Oswald Werepenguin AU on Tumblr.
> 
> Illustrations that go with this fic can be found here: http://millicentcordelia.tumblr.com/post/132444754538/these-beautiful-drawings-of-jim-and-oswald-in-the
> 
> They are by the amazing Selene!

“Here he is! My son, Oswald!” Gertrud stood up, and hugged him as he entered the cavernous room. Oswald kissed his mother, then turned to address the dozen ladies she’d been entertaining that afternoon in what was, until recently, the Falcone mansion. 

“Words can not express how deeply I regret that business matters kept me away from my dear mother’s afternoon tea.” Oswald placed his hand over his heart. “I was so looking forward to visiting with each and every one of you, but alas; work must come first. My home is my mother’s home; it goes without saying, that you are all welcome here, at any time. For those of you who need transportation, my associate, Gabriel, will be happy to provide his assistance.” 

Several “ladies of a certain age” swarmed around Gabe, who seemed to be enjoying himself immensely. Others stopped to say a few words to Oswald, or bid Gertrud adieu. 

A slender, silver haired woman in a black velvet cloak handed Oswald a package. “I know your mother is proud of you, Oswald! No woman could wish for a more devoted son.”

“Mama Irena, how sweet of you to think of me! What is it?”

“Of course your old godmother thinks of you.” She leaned in and whispered: “It’s tea, but not just any tea; it’s magical tea. When you drink this tea, you must think of what your heart desires most. Then whatever must happen to bring it to you, will happen.”

“How wonderful! I’ll be careful to follow your directions precisely.” He kissed her cheek and waved to the remaining ladies as they left. His mother walked with her guests to the front hall, as he turned and left from a side entrance. A black Bentley was waiting for him, with two bodyguards and a driver, to take him to his club. The custom built car, heavily armored, was also “inherited” from Don Falcone. 

He watched the mansion dwindling in the rearview mirror; a testament to a man who, in Oswald’s opinion, had possessed more money than taste. Oswald liked to call the décor “Hollywood Versailles”, and cared little for its garishness. The place was huge, and cold; it gave him the creeps, and he was half sure it was haunted. He much preferred his own rooms at the club.

He gazed at the gift in his lap. Irena Dubrovna possessed a heart of pure gold, but she’d always been “a little odd”, and he knew she believed herself to be a sorceress. He adored her despite her eccentricities; she was Gertrud’s oldest friend, and had been like a second mother to him for much of his childhood.

 

It was Saturday night, and there was going to be a full moon; so he expected the club to do a brisk business, and he wasn’t disappointed. At one table sat Police Commissioner Loeb, with a girlfriend young enough to be his granddaughter; at another table, ADA Harvey Dent was laughing at a state senator’s jokes. Oswald circulated through the packed house, greeting well-wishers and hangers-on, political cronies and gangsters, thrill-seekers and sex workers. Exotic beauties of various genders flirted with him; he smelled of success, and at the moment, he was the king of all he surveyed.

Bored, he retreated to the bar; where he brewed a cup of Irena’s tea and dosed it liberally with brandy. He stepped into the alley with his drink, and lit a cigarette; watched the blue smoke swirling up and away as he exhaled. As he’d been bidden, he thought about his heart’s desire. Slowly, he relaxed, becoming lost in his fantasy. He began to feel warm, and loosened his collar; threw the cigarette away, ran a hand through his hair. 

The first wave of nausea brought him to his knees. He choked, gasping for breath; the alley began to spin, faster and faster, until his surroundings became a blur of color and light. He heard what sounded like voices, speaking in a language he didn’t understand. A pinprick of white light appeared in front of his eyes, and expanded. He slowly became aware of dust motes floating all around him, hovering like hummingbirds; glittering and reflecting green, aqua, blue, and violet.

He fell forward, face down, and convulsed, feeling himself pulled first one way, then the other. Finally, there was silence; everything stopped, and he lay still on the ground. 

When he got up, he felt buoyant. Energized. Unburdened. The world looked larger, brighter. He had one thing on his mind, and he knew exactly where to find it.

___________________

Jim Gordon climbed wearily into the driver’s seat of the patrol car. A power outage in downtown Gotham had required the presence of a half dozen traffic cops. Finally, after four hours, the traffic lights were working again, and his shift was ending. 

“Hey, you hungry?” His new partner, LeDaryl, held out a bag of cheese puffs. LeDaryl always carried an emergency supply of junk food, but no matter how many empty calories he consumed per day he remained toothpick skinny. 

Jim shook his head. “I’m good. Just want to go home.”

“Looks like we got a call.” LeDaryl spoke with the dispatcher. “Uh-huh, we got it. No problem.” He turned to Jim. “Hang a left at the next light. Old man Bertini called in, said there’s a wild animal on a rampage in his store. I’m guessin’ it’s a monster he found at the bottom of a bottle of gin. If there’s anything to it, we can call for animal control, or real cops.”

Real cops. Jim was still getting used to the idea that he wasn’t a “real cop” any more, and that the most important police work assigned to him consisted of hunting down what was, most likely, an over sized rat in a Mom ‘n Pop grocery. He was familiar with Bertini’s; it was within walking distance of his own modest apartment. 

He pulled over and parked. They were about to enter the store when the front doors flew open, and something ran out. 

It was a Humboldt penguin with a fish in its mouth.

It tore down the sidewalk as Jim and LeDaryl watched. Seconds later, Mr. Bertini appeared and ran after it, brandishing a broom and yelling something in Italian. The penguin scurried into an alley, with Mr. Bertini, Jim, and LeDaryl right behind it. 

“Shoot it! That vermin’s eaten half the fish in my case!” The irate grocer was red-faced and panting. 

“Calm down.” LeDaryl took Mr. Bertini aside. “Where’d it come from? How’d it get in?”

“How the hell should I know? All’s I know, I caught it stealing my fish, and I gave it a good walloping with this broom handle. Shoot it!”

“Go back inside, Mr. Bertini.” It was all the young officer could do to keep from laughing. “We’re trained professionals. Let us handle this.” Bertini retreated, cursing loudly. 

The penguin peeked at Jim, from behind a dumpster. “Hi there, little guy. What’re you doing loose in downtown Gotham?” Jim spoke softly, and got down on one knee. “Did that mean man hurt you?” 

The penguin made a noise that sounded like a cross between a honk and a yodel, and took a few steps towards Jim, who continued to coax it. “Did you come from the zoo? Do you want to be my friend? 

A door opening into the alley was abruptly flung open, between Jim and the penguin; and a man wearing a hairnet, with a pack of cigarettes in his hand, stepped out. The penguin darted inside. Cursing under his breath, Jim followed; just in time to see the penguin running down a narrow hallway, past a kitchen, and straight into a densely packed crowd. 

Jim had only seen the place, “Portmanteau”, from the outside. Inside, it was shabby, dimly lit, and unbearably loud. He caught a glimpse of the penguin, and almost caught it by making an end run around the dance floor, but an enormous bouncer blocked his way.

“Izzat yours?” The man towered over Jim. “Animals ain’t allowed in here.”

“I’m trying to catch it!” Jim shouted. “This is official police.... SHIT!”   
The penguin was sliding on its belly down the bar, sending drinks flying in all directions and provoking shrieks of laughter. It landed in the lap of a girl with lavender hair, hit the floor, and took off; ducking out the front door as more people entered the bar. Jim wrenched his arm away from the bouncer and rushed after it.

He found the penguin standing in front of the “Eagle Bail Bond Company” next door. It seemed entranced by the neon display that depicted the progress of an eagle in flight, accompanied by the words “You’ll Be Free as a Bird!” flashing on and off.

Jim sat down on the curb in front of the building. “Hello, again. How’d you like to go home with me? I get really lonely sometimes, all by myself. You could keep me company.”

The penguin walked over to Jim and shook itself. When he reached out, it let him pet it. “Aren’t you a sweetheart!” Impulsively, he picked it up. It leaned against him and put its head on his shoulder.

“Man, you didn’t tell me you were the penguin whisperer.” LeDaryl grinned at the sight of Jim carrying the bird as tenderly as if it were an infant. “I just negotiated a deal with the bartender back there. They don’t worry about the damages, and we don’t go back and start checking for underage drinkers. Think you can put that thing in the trunk, so we can take it in?”

“The trunk? No. I’m not giving him to animal control. You ever seen the place?” Jim grimaced. “They’d throw him in a cage so small he couldn’t turn around in it, plus they don’t know how to care of the animals. How about we say he got away, and I’ll take him home for the night. We can drop him off at my place, then go clock out. I’ll call the zoo tomorrow.”

“This is some freaky shit, but whatever.” LeDaryl paused. “If you get caught, I’ll swear I didn’t know a damn thing about it.”

__________

Harvey polished off a second beer, and wiped his mouth. “The precinct ain’t the same without you, Jimbo. You do realize, this is the second time you’ve been demoted for being a stubborn asshole. Which ruins my life, ‘cause I inevitably get stuck with some douchebag for a partner.”

“Yeah, I know. It’ll also be the second time I get reinstated, once I get it figured out.”

“Maybe you could figure out how to not tell superior officers you wish they was dead. Loeb’s got a long memory.” Harvey pointed at the penguin. “Does it do tricks?”

The penguin was sitting at Jim’s feet, preening. “Can you shake hands?” Jim held out his hand, and the penguin immediately offered him its wing. “What a good boy! Can you roll over?” The penguin lay down and rolled over. “That’s a clever penguin! Can you get me the TV remote out of that end table?”

The penguin looked at Jim. Then it walked over to the end table, pulled out the drawer, grabbed the remote with its beak, and dropped it on the sofa next to Jim.

“It’s smarter than most ‘a my relatives.” Harvey reached out and patted the penguin on the back. “Can you go fetch your Uncle Harvey another beer?”

The penguin hissed and snapped at Harvey, then made a bleating sound and stomped its feet. It ran to Jim, who was laughing uncontrollably. He picked the penguin up, and it settled happily into his lap.

“That thing’s dangerous! You oughta name it Oswald, after your buddy The Penguin.” Harvey got out his phone and took pictures of Jim petting the penguin.

Jim scowled. “He’s not my buddy.” He looked down at the penguin in his lap, and his expression softened. “But I guess we could call this little guy Ozzie. When you get another beer, get me one, too. And hand me a tin of kippers, for Ozzie?”

Harvey kept a respectful distance from Ozzie the rest of the evening. Once he left, Jim took the penguin into the bathroom, and put a towel on the floor. “This’ll be your bed for the night, Ok? Here’s a pan of water if you get thirsty; I’ll see you in the morning.” He hugged the penguin, then left and shut the door. Ozzie wasn’t happy about being left alone, but he was tired, and ready to sleep.

Jim fell asleep on the sofa, watching TV.


	2. Broken Glass Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Oswald are brought together through a series of strange occurrences. Mysteries and misunderstandings abound.

The next morning, Jim was awakened by Leslie knocking on his door.

“ You just had to come and wake me up early, ‘cause you know I got a couple of days off.” He kissed her on the cheek.

“Will you forgive me if I brought you coffee from ‘Jitter’s’?”

“Bless you, you’re an angel.” He accepted the coffee gratefully. “I was up late, playing with my new pet.”

“You got a pet? Did you finally get a puppy?”

“I got something a lot more fun than a puppy! He’s in the bathroom, go see for yourself.” Jim yawned, and sprawled on the sofa; he couldn’t wait to see Lee’s reaction.

When Leslie opened the bathroom door, it took her a few minutes to register what she was seeing. A naked man, with pale skin and jet-black hair, was curled up on the tile floor, shivering in his sleep. His back-what she could see of it-was covered in welts and purple bruises. As she stood there he made a whining noise in his throat, and muttered a few words in his sleep. “Please, don’t...I’ll be good.... please....”

She backed away; shut the door and took a few minutes to compose herself before returning to the living room. 

“So, what do you think of my new pet penguin? Admit it, you were surprised!”

“I, ah, yes. I was. Surprised. Jim, he had bruises on his back.”

“He got into a bit of trouble last night, but I think he’s learned some manners.”

“You don’t think it’s ...cruel, to make him sleep in the bathroom, on the tile-without a blanket?”

“You don’t expect me to let him sleep in the bed, do you? He’s fine.”

“And the fact that he’s naked?”

“Don’t most pets go naked? Tell you what. Let’s go out for some breakfast, and on the way back we’ll stop off and buy him a collar and a leash. We can take him for a walk, and see if he remembers any of the tricks I taught him last night. Before we go, I’ll toss some sardines in there for him, in case he’s hungry.” 

“Jim, the way you’re talking; you don’t seem to think this impacts our relationship.”

“Why would it? I’d keep him over here. You might be surprised; he kind of grows on you. You might enjoy playing with him; he’s actually pretty docile. I think he’s getting attached to me.”

Leslie was at a loss for words. “I’ll take a rain check on breakfast. I’ve got a lot of work waiting for me; I’ll call you later.”

Jim wondered why she was suddenly in such a hurry. “Are you OK, you look like you don’t feel well?”

“No, I’m fine, I just...we’ll talk later.” She left so quickly, it was as if she evaporated. 

__________

When Lee arrived at work, she encountered Harvey in the parking garage. 

“ Mornin’ Doc. You all right, you look kinda pale?” Even half asleep, he was still a detective; and he couldn’t miss Lee’s agitation.

She shook her head. “I’m fine. I stopped by Jim’s apartment this morning....”

Harvey grinned. “Did you see his new pet?”

“You...know about the pet?”

“Yeah, Jim’s partner helped catch him and stuff him in the car last night. Slippery little thing, they cornered him in an alley.”

“You mean he didn’t go with them willingly?”

“Not at first. But it’s not like he had a choice.” 

“Harvey...do you have pets, also?”

“Nah, not me. Too much responsibility. Besides, I can always go over and play with Jim’s. Say, had Jim had breakfast?”

“No, he asked me to go out for breakfast, but I have work I have to get done; you know how it is.”

“Sure, Doc. Would you tell Sarah I’m gonna be a little late? I just remembered something I have to do.” Harvey got back in his car. He had good instincts when it came to ferreting out gossip, and he wanted to hear Jim’s version of the morning’s events.

__________

Jim finished his coffee, and headed for the bathroom. “How’s my little penguin this morning? All ready for some fun and HOW THE HELL’D YOU GET IN HERE ?!?”

Oswald, abruptly awakened by Jim yelling at him, sat up too quickly and hit his head on the edge of the tub. “Ow!” He looked down. “My clothes!” He stood up and grabbed a towel. “What have you done with my clothes? You... you bad man! You stay away from me! You should be ashamed of yourself, and you an officer of the law!”

“Me?!? I haven’t done a damned thing with your clothes, I don’t even know how you got in my apartment!”

“I didn’t get here on my own! I don’t remember anything, and it’s freezing in here! The last time I saw you, you were going to leave me handcuffed to a radiator, to be slaughtered like a pig!”

Oswald looked so sincerely miserable; Jim couldn’t help feeling sorry for him. “All right, just...come out of the bathroom. We’ll get this sorted out.” He backed away from the door and Oswald emerged, eyeing Jim warily. “I’m not going to hurt you. Here.” He held up a blanket. “I never would have left you behind to be killed, for all I knew you were working with Maroni again. And I didn’t leave you, did I?”

Oswald allowed Jim to wrap the blanket around him; Jim could feel him trembling. “Sit down. What’s the last thing you remember, before you woke up in my bathroom?”

“I had just left the club. I felt strange; dizzy and weak, and then everything was spinning, and I had the strangest dreams; what’s happened to me? Have I gone crazy?”

Jim sat next to Oswald on the edge of the bed. “More likely, you were drugged. Probably, kidnapped. You could have gotten away, somehow, but you were disoriented; maybe you saw me and Harvey, outside, and followed us into the building.” 

“I’m sorry for snapping at you.” Oswald rubbed his head. “I’m confused, and my back hurts.”

“Let me see.” Jim pulled the blanket off Oswald’s shoulders. “Jeez, somebody did a number on you, you’re black and blue. Whoever did this, you’re lucky you got away from them. Do you want to file a report?”

“No, thank you. May I use your phone, to call Gabe to bring me some clothes? I’d like to take a shower, too, if you don’t mind.”

“That’s fine. Say, you don’t remember seeing an, uh, animal in the bathroom do you? I had a ...sort of a pet.” Oswald looked so confused, Jim decided not to pursue the matter. “Never mind, I’ll find him.”

Shortly after Oswald retreated to the bathroom, Harvey pounded on the door. “Hey, Jim! Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey!” 

Jim opened the door to find that Harvey had brought over a generous bag of take out food. “How’s your new pet this mornin’?”

“He’s gone. I think he got out when the real Penguin collapsed in my bathroom, and God only knows what Lee thought when she went in there.”

“Wait; whaddya mean the ‘real’ Penguin?”

Oswald, wrapped in a towel, appeared in the doorway to the living room. “Good morning, Detective Bullock. Jim, do you have any hair products I can use?”

Jim groaned inwardly, at the look of delight on Harvey’s face. “Look under the sink. Previous guests may have left some stuff in there.”

Harvey waited until he heard the bathroom door close, and the sound of a hair dryer. “Jim, you dog! How’d you talk nature boy there into partyin’ with you after you threatened to let Maroni cram him in a wood chipper?”

Jim glared at Harvey. “ Of all people, you know how much I despise Oswald Cobblepot. I don’t even know how or when he got in here, I found him this morning on the bathroom floor.”

“You don’t gotta explain nothin’ to me.” Harvey snickered. “Not even gonna comment about how that limp of his looks worse’n usual.”

Oswald returned, wearing a pair of Jim’s gym shorts and a tee shirt. Both garments were several sizes too large. “Jim, you’ve been so kind. I wish you’d let me take you shopping, as a way of showing my gratitude; your wardrobe is in a deplorable state. My, that smells delightful!” He fished a breakfast sandwich out of the bag, and plopped down at the kitchen table. “Did Jim tell you about what happened? I’m still not completely sure myself, but I know it was terrible and I barely escaped with my life.”

Harvey scarfed down a donut, and brushed the powdered sugar out of his beard. “ Do tell.”

Oswald launched into an animated re-telling of everything he could remember, punctuating his tale with dramatic gestures. When Gabe arrived with a neatly pressed suit and a valise, Oswald went into the bedroom to dress.

“We was awful worried last night,” Gabe announced. “I found boss’s clothes in the alley back of the club. Phone, keys, wallet, everything, just layin’ there. We went out lookin’ for him; just got back when he called.”

“We’re not sure what happened, between the time he left the club and when he turned up here.” Jim offered. “But keep an eye on him, he had to have been drugged. Maybe with time he’ll remember who did this.”

 

__________

After everyone left, Jim called the zoo. They assured him that no, they weren’t missing any penguins; and said if he’d found one, perhaps it was someone’s pet-which would be illegal, since Humboldt penguins were an endangered species. If he found the missing penguin, they’d be happy to take a look at him.

Jim wished he’d taken some photos of it. The ones Harvey’d taken were worthless; a series of shapeless blurs. Jim figured there must have been something wrong with Harvey’s phone.

Around one, Harvey called to pass along the news that Leslie’d quit her job as medical examiner, to work at a clinic for a non-profit. 

Around two, Leslie called and broke up with him, saying they’d gotten involved too quickly, she “needed space,” and “It’s not you, it’s me.” She downplayed the morning’s misunderstanding, saying it had nothing to do with her decision; then wrapped up the conversation with the classic “I hope we can be friends.” Jim frowned, as he set his phone down. He felt the same way as the day she threw herself at him in the precinct locker room; that he was playing a bit part in someone else’s movie. He wished he were more upset about the break-up, but somehow, he couldn’t get worked up over it. 

He spent the rest of the day searching for Ozzie. He visited all the parks he could think of that had lakes or ponds; asked around the harbors. No more 911 calls about penguins had come in. By late afternoon, he’d given up. He ate dinner, alone, at his favorite diner. Afterwards, he started to go home; instead, he decided to drop in on Oswald, to ask if he’d remembered anything else. It wasn’t as if he had any personal interest in what happened to Cobblepot, but this was the kind of mystery he used to be good at solving-when he was a “real cop.”

Sunday night was, as usual, a slow evening at the club. Butch, who was seated at the bar, told him Oswald had been disoriented all day. “He got everything done he needed to, but somethin’s not right. Said he might turn in early. I guess it’s ok if you wanna check and see if he’s feelin’ like answering questions.”

Jim thanked Butch, and climbed the stairs to the second floor, where Oswald had a suite of rooms. He’d never been there before, and was pleasantly surprised at how cozy and comfortable it was. Oswald was dressed more casually than Jim’d ever seen him; in a white tee and black jeans. If possible, he looked even paler than usual, making the dark circles under his eyes stand out in sharp contrast. He poured a glass of wine for each of them, and they settled into a pair of overstuffed chairs in front of a fireplace. 

“It’s considerate of you to come and inquire about me; but I’m afraid I don’t have anything to add. Except for those crazy dreams, I can’t remember anything.” He scratched absent-mindedly at one arm. “I wish I knew what kind of drug they gave me. I’ve been itchy all day; my skin feels...crawly.”

Outside, the sun had set, and stars were appearing in the sky. Jim sipped his wine and looked thoughtful. “What were the dreams about? You never did say.”

Without warning, Oswald dropped his glass, spilling wine on the carpet. His eyes rolled back into his head, as he slid off the chair and onto the floor, where he began to jerk and twitch. Jim went to him, and was about to call for help, when Oswald’s eyes flew open.

They were glowing a bright, iridescent yellow. 

Startled, Jim stepped back. Oswald thrashed, as a gurgling noise came from his throat. He clutched at the air, his body rigid-and Jim saw that his hands were changing, the fingers fusing together. He seemed to shrink before Jim’s eyes, his skin tightening, changing in color; there were wet, crunching sounds that made the hair stand up on the back of Jim’s neck. Something was sprouting, out of his skin; something that looked like coarse hair that grew until he was covered in it.

Wracked with spasms, he flipped into a corner, his body lifting off the floor as if he was being hit with jolts of electricity. When he lay still, his clothes looked to be mostly empty. Jim fought down an attack of nausea, and approached the lifeless looking lump in the corner. 

The lump righted itself and turned towards Jim. It was a Humboldt penguin. Jim was sure the wine had been drugged; he was hallucinating, he had to be. Out of the corner of his eye, he glimpsed the full moon through the window. 

The penguin flapped its wings and waddled towards Jim, chirping happily. Jim sat down, heavily, on the floor. The penguin rubbed its head against Jim’s cheek. 

____________

Gabe and Butch watched Jim going back up the stairs with a tray of canned tuna and sardines.

“This is just freaking weird.” Butch threw back his drink. “I don’t know what’s going on, but something’s up. Suddenly the Boss and Detective Do-Right are acting like fuck buddies. I thought Gordon couldn’t stand him.”

“Things change.” Gabe looked up from his racing form. “Maybe he broadened Gordon’s horizons. Ain’t nonna my business.” He went back to studying the ponies.

“Yeah, well I wanna know what’s going on up there.” Butch started up the stairs, taking each step as quietly as possible. He carried a glass with him, and placed it on the outside of Oswald’s door. He could hear Jim’s voice.

“Is that good? Do you like that? You must have been a very hungry penguin! I bet I know what you’d like next. A bath! Doesn’t that sound like fun? Let’s go play in the water! You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Who’s a cute little penguin? You’re a cute little penguin!”

Butch returned to the bar, and poured himself a double. 

__________

Jim toweled off Ozzie, who seemed to have had a terrific time in the tub. Then he toweled off the bathroom, because there was water everywhere. He felt a little embarrassed about being nude, but he couldn’t very well get in the tub with his clothes on. And after all, it wasn’t as if Ozzie cared.

He put his boxers and undershirt back on, then picked Ozzie up and put him on the bed. “Is this a sleepy penguin?” Ozzie seemed content to lie down with Jim. “The door’s locked, so you can’t get out. Now we’re going to go to sleep, and in the morning, everything’s going to be back to normal.” Jim wrapped his arms around Ozzie, and fell asleep instantly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Jitters” is the coffee shop from “The Flash” TV series.


	3. Masquerade Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim struggles with mixed feelings as he and Oswald work together to keep Oswald’s condition a secret.

The next time Jim opened his eyes, it was morning; and something was tickling his nose, something that smelled pleasantly of cologne and shampoo. The something was Oswald’s hair. 

Oswald was sleeping peacefully in Jim’s arms, his head tucked under Jim’s chin. Without thinking, Jim ran a hand down the curve of Oswald’s back and caressed his derrière. 

“Mmmm.” Oswald stirred, snuggling into Jim’s embrace. 

Fully awake, Jim quickly moved his hand to safer territory. He’d underestimated the dangers of waking up intertwined with a naked Oswald. Panic set in at the realization of how much he was enjoying the sensation of Oswald’s body pressed against his. After a few minutes, Oswald whispered, “Jim? Are you awake?”

Jim took the cowards’ way out and pretended to be asleep. 

Oswald slid out of bed, and quietly began to gather up his clothes. Jim chanced opening his eyes, ever so slightly; and saw Oswald standing next to a window, his back to Jim. Shifting patterns of light and dark played over his nude form, as the morning sun filtered through the blinds. Jim had never imagined that under all those layers of clothes, Oswald looked so slender and........graceful. Elegant.

Alluring? No, that wasn’t possible.

Oswald turned and stretched, in a manner that was almost feline. For a heartbeat, Jim was completely lost in thoughts of Dutch Baroque paintings. He was entranced by the fall of light on Oswald’s shoulders.

Jim realized, too late, that his sharp intake of breath was audible. Oswald turned, his eyes wide; he rushed from the room. Jim heard the shower come on in the adjacent bathroom.

Great, Jim thought. You handled that with finesse, Jimmy boy. Now he thinks you’re a creeper. Not that you care what he thinks, right?

Oswald came out of the bathroom fully dressed, and began styling his hair, using the dresser mirror and pointedly not looking at Jim. “Would you like to take a shower?”

“Um, sure...thanks.” Jim grabbed the rest of his clothes and locked himself in the bathroom. In the shower, he quickly took care of the part of his anatomy that stubbornly insisted on expressing its appreciation for how wonderful it felt to snuggle in bed with Oswald. Then he turned on the cold water full blast, subjecting himself to an icy torrent that felt like it had been piped in from Antarctica. 

After he dressed, he found Oswald looking at the stain on the carpet. “Do you mind if we go back to my apartment, so I can change into clean clothes? I’ll fix breakfast, and we can talk about what happened last night.”

Oswald nodded. “What do you think-do I look incognito?” He’d added a teal hoodie to a gray tee and the black jeans. His hair was pushed back and styled more softly than Jim had ever seen it.

“Yeah, and I like your hair like that; it makes you look younger. And more normal. Not that the way you usually look is abnormal. ” Jim ran his hands over his face. “You’re gonna have to cut me some slack. Last night I saw an adult male morph into a two and a half foot tall penguin, and I’m not thinking clearly.”

__________

Jim came out of the kitchen with two plates of scrambled eggs and toast, and handed one to Oswald. “What does it feel like, when it happens? Does it hurt?”

“Yes, but it’s like pain and pleasure all mixed up. What does it look like?”

“Horrible. I didn’t know what was happening, but at first I thought you were dead. Can you remember what happens after you change?”

“The first time is foggy. I remember running down a sidewalk, and I remember you were there and I was happy. The second time, I remember in more detail. You were very kind to me; you brought me things to eat, and I loved being in the water.” Oswald looked Jim in the eye. “Why are you being so nice to me?”

Jim had never allowed himself to pay attention to Oswald’s eyes; now, he almost got lost in them. “ I honestly feel bad for you- it must be a terrifying experience. Do you have any idea why this is happening?”

“The tea. It has to be! My godmother, Mama Irena gave me some tea, who knows what bizarre drugs are in those herbs! That’s what I was drinking right before all this started.”

Jim looked incredulous. “You mean Countess Dubrovna, the psychic? She’s not just a crackpot?”

“Apparently not. Maybe she can explain this, maybe she’s got an antidote.” Oswald took out his phone. “I’ve got her private number.” 

While he called, Jim looked out a window. “There’s a black car down there that I think may have followed us over here.”

Oswald waved a hand. “It’s Gabe, and there’s probably at least two other cars with armed guards. Here’s the bad news: I got a recording that Irena’s out of town and won’t be back until tonight. I suppose I should go over there this afternoon and wait for her.”

“I’ll go with you. I’m the only one who knows what’s happening, and you can’t be alone when the moon rises.” When Oswald looked surprised, Jim continued. “Look, this is the closest thing to a real case I’ve been involved with lately. You know that Loeb busted me all the way down to being a traffic cop. And yeah, you warned me I should pick the winning side, and I didn’t, so feel free to tell me what a stubborn jackass I am.”

“That’s why I admire you. When you decide what’s right, you become an unstoppable force. Loeb’s an insufferable, dull-witted boor; you’re better than him in every way, and he’s envious.” Oswald’s features softened. “I can’t begin to thank you enough for your compassion. It would be awful, to have to go through this alone.”

“It’s what I do for a living; helping people, I mean.” Jim began clearing the table. “We’ve got some time to kill before we go to the Countess’ place. There’s an exhibit at the Flugelheim that I’ve been wanting to see.”

“The Egyptomania Exhibit? I’d love to go! I read all about it in the museum newsletter!” Clearly excited, Oswald began describing the exhibit in enthusiastic detail; while Jim wondered want he’d gotten himself into. 

__________

Jim had to admit, the curators at the Flugelheim had outdone themselves. The first half of the exhibit consisted of an impressive array of ancient Egyptian artifacts from museums around the world, and showcased some lesser-known pieces from their own extensive collection. The second half was devoted to American decorative arts from the 19th century onwards, “in the Egyptian style.” 

It took a while, but eventually he got used to Gabe, and two other grim looking bodyguards, shadowing his-and Oswald’s- every move. 

“Oh, look at that!” Oswald turned towards a case containing three of the costumes Claudette Colbert wore when she lit up the screen as “Cleopatra”, in 1934. 

Jim glanced in the opposite direction-and saw Gillian Loeb, coming out of an adjoining room, headed in their direction. 

Jim took Oswald’s hand and led him to the case; then put his arm around him and leaned in close. “Follow my lead, ” he whispered; then kissed Oswald on the cheek and pretended to be absorbed in the case’s contents. 

Loeb walked over to them. “Jim! I’m surprised to see you here. I pictured you as the ‘man of action” type; always at the gym, or the shooting range in your spare time.”

“Did you think someone this gorgeous couldn’t be intelligent, as well?” Oswald gazed up at Jim adoringly, then turned back to Loeb. “Gill, where are your manners? Aren’t you going to introduce us to your charming companion?”

“Yes, of course. Denise Pennington, this is Officer Jim Gordon, and Mr, Oswald Cobblepot.” Jim extended his hand to the petite, striking brunette. 

She had sharp, vulpine features; large brown eyes, and a bemused expression.“ I’m new to Gotham; moved here from Chicago to become a partner in my brother’s law firm.”

“Congratulations! I so hope you’ll love Gotham. Jim and I are very happy here. Gill absolutely must bring you to my club. The food’s excellent, and I’m always looking for new entertainers to amuse my guests.” Oswald tuned back to the case. “Just look at these, aren’t they fabulous? You’d look smashing in one of these, for a costume ball.”

“Aren’t you the flatterer?” she demurred, but Jim could tell she liked the idea.

Loeb couldn’t resist making another snarky comment. “Jim’s specializing in traffic management at the moment, but I believe he’s ambitious, and plans to work his way up-perhaps, even become a detective.”

Oswald refused to take the bait. “Jim’s very determined, very focused. That’s one of the many things I love about him. But for now, you’d better drive safely; he’s a demon with that radar gun!”

Jim’s smile was genuine; he loved seeing Loeb outclassed. “Who knows what the future holds? It was nice meeting you, Ms. Pennington.”

“Call me Denise. I’ll make sure that Gill brings me to your club; and I’ll look forward to seeing the two of you again.”

After Loeb and Denise left the room, Oswald grinned at Jim. “How’d I do?”

“You were perfect; did you see the look on Loeb’s face?”

“That’s definitely not the same girl he was with Saturday night.” Oswald wrinkled his nose. “I can’t stand his attitude towards you. You know, there’s no telling when they might reappear, and spy on us-without us even knowing.” He slipped his hand into Jims. “Perhaps we should continue to behave affectionately?”

“Good thinking.”   
Throughout the rest of the exhibit, they held hands; touched each other with a casual familiarity, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Near the exit, Oswald stopped and looked up at a seven foot tall Statue of the Goddess Sakhmet. Jim hugged him from behind, and kissed him on the back of the neck.  
Loeb wasn’t there to see it, but Gabe was starting to feel like a chaperone at a prom. He wasn’t happy when Oswald insisted on leaving with Jim, and sending him and the other bodyguards back to the mansion; but- with distinct misgivings- he did as he was told.  
__________

As he drove, Jim explained his strategy at the museum. “We’ve got to keep what’s happened to you a secret. Can you imagine what one of your enemies might do if they knew? Making people think we’re a couple provides a cover story for the time we’re spending together.”

‘Butch and Gabe don’t need convincing. They assumed we were involved, after you spent the night last night; Gabe told me. He’s silent as the grave, but you can count on Butch to gossip.”

“Good. Harvey’s sure we’re lovers; and my ex-girlfriend, who walked in on you while you were sleeping naked on my bathroom floor-let’s just say she left with some very colorful ideas about what we’d been doing.”

“Your ex-girlfriend? You didn’t break up because of me, did you? Jim, I’m so sorry, I could talk to her....”

“Don’t be sorry, it wasn’t about you. Dating a homicide detective was a thrill for her; dating a traffic cop, not so much. It’s history; over and done with.”

Oswald was quiet for a while. “Jim? You’ve made it plain, in the past, that you didn’t want to be my friend. Sometimes I thought you hated me. But now you’re acting as if you like me, at least a little. Do you, Jim? “

“Yes, of course! I do. I mean, no, I can’t be friends with you, not really, because of the line of work you’re in. But I don’t hate you, I don’t want anything bad to happen to you, and I... don’t want to talk about it.”

Oswald reached out and touched his shoulder. “Thank you.”

They drove on, in silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There have been numerous exhibitions at museums around the world, documenting the continuing fascination with all things pertaining to ancient Egypt.   
> This fascination is referred to as Egyptomania. 
> 
> The Flugelheim Museum Of Science And Art is a fictional museum located in Gotham. For more info about it, here’s a link:  
> https://stories-of-gotham-city.obsidianportal.com/wiki_pages/flugelheim-museum-of-science-and-art


	4. Witch Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Oswald pay a visit to Oswald’s eccentric Godmother.

Countess Irena Dubrovna owned a Queen Anne style residence, circa 1900, on the outskirts of the elite community that included Wayne Manor. She was fond of saying that more than a whiff of gentility tended to give her a case of the vapors.

“Are you sure this is the right way?” Since leaving the highway, Jim had driven down one rustic road after the other, through mile after mile of dense woods. 

“What can I say, she likes her privacy.” Abruptly, the woods gave way to a neatly trimmed lawn and a series of terraced gardens. At the top of a small hill stood the strangest house Jim had ever seen. The first floor featured a generous, wraparound porch; from that arose several rounded towers and a conglomerate of gables, balconies, cupolas, and windows of all shapes and sizes. Lavishly festooned with carved wooden embellishments, it was painted a creamy yellow and trimmed in shades of orange, peach, and burgundy. 

Jim parked in the driveway, and got out of the car. He stood looking at the house as if he wasn’t quite sure it was real. “Is that a house or a giant birthday cake?” 

“Don’t be critical, just because it’s not your taste in architecture!” Oswald picked up a garden trowel from a flowerbed, and began digging around in a planter decorated with gargoyles. 

“I don’t think architecture had anything to do with this. It looks like it’s going to sprout chicken legs and do a dance.”

“James Gordon, you mind your manners!” Oswald shook the trowel at him and continued digging. “Here it is!” He held up a small metal box, from which he produced a key. “How do you know about Baba Yaga, anyway?”

“My mom read me those stories when I was little.”

“Mine, too.” Oswald unlocked the front door. “You’re not allergic to cats, are you?”

The inside of Irena’s house was what Jim imagined the interior of a Gypsy’s wagon might look like- on a grand scale, with high ceilings and elaborate chandeliers. Straight ahead, opposite the front door, was an immense oaken curio cabinet, decorated with carvings of bats, snakes and satyrs; it contained mineral specimens, ethnic jewelry, tarot cards, antique scientific instruments, and oddly attired dolls. From the foyer, he could see a siting room to the right, and an octagonally shaped room to the left, which contained a round table with claw feet. 

An integral feature of the décor seemed to be the dozen or so cats that greeted them. “Hello, Mr. Archy!” A large black and white feline leapt into Oswald’s arms. Jim reached down and picked up a yellow tabby that was purring and rubbing against his ankles. 

“That’s Mehitabel.” Oswald flipped on the light in the room with the round table. When the chandelier came on, the crystals threw a dazzling profusion of rainbows in all directions. 

He led Jim through a spacious kitchen, and out the back door. There was an expansive terrace of white marble, a koi pond, and a luxuriously large swimming pool. 

“This is hell of a place. Kinda like where the Addams family lived.” Jim sat down on the terrace steps. 

Oswald sat next to him, and lit a cigarette. “The sun’s already set.”

Jim could see that his hands were shaking. “I know you’re dreading this, but I’m going to stay right here with you. I won’t let you out of my sight until tomorrow morning.” He sat down next to Oswald. “I promise.”

“I hate for you to see me like this.” Now Oswald’s hands were shaking so badly he dropped the cigarette. 

Jim put both arms around him, encircling his waist. “I’m not going to let go.”

“Jim; my skin feels like it’s moving! I can’t.....” His eyelids fluttered, and his body went slack; he began to twitch, his teeth chattered, and his hands clenched and unclenched. He tried to scream, but was only able to choke out a hideous, ragged noise; that sounded like the grinding of rusty metal gears. 

It took all of Jim’s strength to hold on, as the convulsions increased in violence; it seemed as if Oswald’s body was trying to tear itself apart. The man in his arms became an unrecognizable, squirming mass of flesh, as bones broke and skin was torn open. A sour stench burned Jim’s nostrils. He closed his eyes, and held on. His stomach heaved, but he refused to let go. 

When he opened his eyes, Ozzie was standing in the pile of Oswald’s clothes. The penguin chirruped as Jim untangled him; then began flapping his wings excitedly and took off running as fast as he could go. 

Too late, Jim realized Ozzie’d caught sight of the swimming pool. 

“No! Stop! Come back here! Heel!” Jim kicked off his sneakers and ran after him, shedding clothes as he went. “God damn it!” 

At the edge of the pool, Ozzie paused and looked back at Jim; squawking as if to say “Hurry up!” He waited until Jim, now naked, almost reached him; then dove. Jim went in after him. Ozzie, the superior swimmer, stayed just out of reach, as they went round and round; circled behind Jim and head-butted him. When Jim stopped to catch his breath, Ozzie swam up and nuzzled him affectionately.

“No need to panic; there’s no chlorine in the water, I use salt. It’s safe for him.”

Jim looked up to see a trim, debonair woman wearing an impeccably tailored tweed suit. She dropped an armload of towels by the pool. “That was quite a strip tease you just performed.”

Jim’s face reddened. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were here, and I, uh......”

Irena laughed. “And you were worried about him going in the pool. Let him enjoy himself. I’ll put your clothes in the pool house, and you can shower off afterwards. Here,” she tossed a red plastic ball into the pool. “Have fun!”

____________

By the time Jim brought Ozzie back inside, Irena’d prepared a light supper-including fish for Ozzie, which he shared, amicably, with the cats. Afterwards, Irena suggested they move to the sitting room, where she brought out a decanter of cognac.

The walls were covered with masks, costumes, arms and armor, paintings and photographs. Scattered everywhere were statuary of deities from more mythologies than Jim could count. 

Irena had changed into a black, floor length caftan and an assortment of intricate silver jewelry. In the flickering light from the fireplace, she looked like someone who knew her way around a book of spells.

Jim lifted Ozzie up onto the sofa. “Do you mind telling me how you know Gertrud and Oswald?”

“ My parents were Romanian doctors who immigrated to New York City. I became a veterinarian, set up a practice there. Gertrud used to come in with her cats. She was born in Romania; a friend of the family helped her to emigrate after her parents died in prison. The government accused them of treason, and seized the family fortune. In New York, Gertrud worked as a seamstress; she did beautiful work, and was very much in demand. Her last name, then, was Vlădescu .We were the same age, and struck up a friendship. She was a beauty, much more so than I.”

“What about Oswald’s father?”

“She met a man from Gotham, whose name was Kapelput, and fell madly in love. I never trusted him, but she wouldn’t hear of it. She left Manhattan, to move here. It turned out that he was already married; he told Gertrud that he’d divorce his wife, but died before he could make good on his promise. By then, Oswald had been born. I visited frequently; I may as well tell you, I supported her. She’d begun to manifest symptoms of mental illness. I paid for the doctors, the medications; by the time I married my husband and moved to Europe, she seemed to be doing well. Oswald would have been about nine years old. I employed an investment firm that was supposed to be sending her money each month. Unfortunately, one of the partners was embezzling; it all came out when he committed suicide. By that time, Gertrude had been destitute for several years. Oswald was a teenager, and had been doing what he had to do to support himself and his mother. When I saw him again, he refused to tell me what that entailed. He said he was the man of the house, and could take care of his mother himself.”

Jim knew about the things teenagers were made to do, to gain a foothold in organized crime. It was painful, to think of what it must have been like for Oswald.

“Let me show you something.” She went to a shelf, and returned with a heart shaped box the size of a small hatbox. It had been completely covered with photographs and illustrations of birds of all kinds, and coated with decoupage varnish. “Oswald gave me this just before I moved to Europe. Look inside.”

Jim removed the lid, to find the box filled with origami paper cranes; some so tiny, he marveled at the skill it must have taken to make them. Irena seemed to read his mind. “Oswald had small hands; he was small for his age; shy, and unusually intelligent. He told me he’d read that if you made a thousand paper cranes and made a wish, your wish would come true. He asked me to be the caretaker of the box, so that nothing would happen to it. I used to wonder what he’d wished for; maybe, that the other children would stop tormenting him. What do you think?”

“I wouldn’t know.” Jim swallowed the lump in his throat. 

“Oswald’s fortunate to have a friend like you, to stick with him through this.” 

“I’m not actually his friend.“ Irena was staring at him, and Jim began to feel uncomfortable.

She raised her eyebrows. “Lovers, then?”

“What? No, absolutely not! I got involved in this by accident.”

“I see.” She set her glass down. “Tell me how you met.”

“It was in an alley, back of a nightclub. He was with some thugs who were assaulting a man who owed their boss money; he had a baseball bat, and I told him to put it down.”

“What did he do?”

“He put it down, like I told him to.”

“You influenced him for the good, then; because he wanted to please you. When did you see him again?”

“I was supposed to kill him, but I didn’t. I told him to never come back to Gotham, but he did. I avoided him for a long time, but then I needed help, so I went to him for favors; it was a mistake every time I did it.”

“I understand. He couldn’t stay away from you, and you couldn’t stay away from him.”

“You don’t understand anything!” Ozzie stirred in his lap, and he lowered his voice. “Oswald’s a criminal. I’m a police officer. We can’t be friends, we can’t be anything. I’m going to help him get this straightened out, and then we’re going our separate ways. Tell me what to do; what’s caused this, and how do we fix it?”

“To understand this, you’re going to have to keep an open mind. First, about shape- shifting. It’s not, as the scholars would have you believe, a metaphor. As you’ve seen with your own eyes, it’s real; and it’s a curse. In some ways, it’s about guilt, and self-loathing; about punishing yourself. I’m well aware that Oswald’s not happy with who he is. In any case, the human body isn’t meant for this kind of punishment. If Oswald can’t find a way to dispel the curse, eventually, it’ll kill him.”

“Kill him?” Jim looked with dismay at the sleeping penguin in his lap. “Why would you do something like this to him?”

“I didn’t. He did it to himself. I gave him a gift; the tea he told you about. I told him that when he drank it, he was supposed to think about his heart’s desire; what he wanted more than anything in the world. Then, whatever had to happen for him to get his heart’s desire, would happen. That’s the way magic works. It’s an interface between intention, and the subconscious; between absolute truth, and the mysteries that you hide from yourself. It’s not what people think it is, it’s never as simple as chanting a spell that turns straw into gold.” She set back in her chair. “Tell me; since this started, what have you and Oswald been doing that you’ve never done before? Both in his human form, and in the bird form-it’s still him, either way.”

“We’ve been spending a lot of time together. I’ve been taking care of him, when he’s a penguin. We went to an art exhibit today; we were playing in your pool, earlier. We’ve had a lot of fun, actually. We’ve been sleeping together.” He could feel himself turning red. “That came out wrong. Sleeping, not having sex.”

“Because he’s repulsive to you?”

“No, I already told you, he’s a criminal, and I’m a police officer. You’re not listening.”

“Right now, he’s asleep in your lap. I don’t suppose that’s something you did previously.”

“Of course not!” Jim was getting impatient.

“Think about it. The things what’ve changed since this started. Somehow, he’s getting what he wants: time with you. Being with you; having fun; being close to you. He couldn’t find any other way to get what he wants. All this, somehow, is related to his heart’s desire. Here’s the answer you’re asking for: for the curse to be lifted, he’ll have to get his heart’s desire. Whatever it is that he asked for, in that moment: he’ll either get it, or he’ll die.”

“What if he wished for a unicorn, or the crown jewels of England? What if he wished for something impossible?”

“Well, then, he’ll die. He’s a criminal; after all, the world will be better off without him. You’ll be better off without him, won’t you?”

“That’s not what I meant. You’re trying to confuse me.”

“There’s no need for that. You’ve done an excellent job of confusing yourself.”

The room had grown darker, as the fire burned itself into embers. Irena stood, and led Jim- who carried Ozzie in his arms-to an upstairs bedroom, and wished him a good night.

It was everything but a good night for Jim, who lay awake for hours. It hadn’t occurred to him that being a werepenguin might be a fatal condition, and the thought of Oswald dying was unbearable. 

He wasn’t sure when he’d become so attached to Oswald that he couldn’t imagine life without him. When he finally fell asleep, he dreamed of being in the ruins of a once great city: lost, and alone, and desperately unhappy. 

When he woke up, it was starting to get light outside; Ozzie was gone. He panicked for a moment, until Oswald came out of the bathroom and got back under the covers. 

“Are you all right?” he laid a hand on the side of Jim’s face.

“Just had a bad moment, when I woke up and you weren’t here. Do you mind if we get a couple more hours sleep?”

“Not at all.” Oswald turned his back to Jim, who draped an arm around him and snuggled until they fit together like spoons. This time when he fell asleep, Jim’s dreams were blessedly peaceful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Irena Dubrovna was the name of the protagonist in the 1942 horror movie “Cat People”. The character, a were-panther, turned into a black leopard when she became excited or aroused. French actress Simone Simon played Irena.
> 
> Baba Yaga, “grandmother witch”, is a supernatural being portrayed in Slavic folklore. She dwells deep in the forest in a hut that stands on chicken legs, flies through the sky in a mortar, and wields a pestle. Baba Yaga may help or hinder those that encounter or seek her out. She sometimes plays a maternal role, and also has associations with forest wildlife. 
> 
> “Archy and Mehitabel” are the names of two fictional characters created in 1916, by Don Marquis, a columnist for The Evening Sun newspaper in New York City. Archy, a cockroach, and Mehitabel, an alley cat, appeared in hundreds of humorous verses and short stories in Marquis’ daily column, The Sun Dial. George Herriman, the creator of Krazy Kat, illustrated their adventures.


	5. Shadow Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oswald decides his bizarre condition is a burden he must bear alone. Jim refuses to go along with that agenda.

When Jim awoke for the second time, he was alone. He showered quickly, and went downstairs to find Oswald cooking breakfast. 

‘That smells wonderful.”  
Oswald turned from the stove to smile at Jim. “Good morning, sleeping beauty! I thought I was going to have to come up there and shake you.”

Jim’s thoughts immediately went straight downhill at breakneck speed, as he imagined how much more fun that might have been than a cold shower. “Yeah, well here I am, and I’m starving-I appreciate you cooking. Where’s Irena?”

“She left before I got up; gone back to Europe, I expect. She spends most of her time there, with her husband. Her comings and goings are completely unpredictable.”

They took their plates outside, to eat on the patio and enjoy the crispness of the early fall morning. Jim paused between mouthfuls. “What’s her husband like?”

“I’ve never met him. Irena says he has an affliction that prevents him from traveling. He’s some sort of royalty, lives in a town where his family’s been important for centuries.”

“Who takes care of the cats, and the house?” Jim looked out at the colorful, lush gardens; the place looked like an illustration from a storybook. 

“The servants, so I’m told. I’ve never seen any of them, but somehow things get taken care of around here. You see that flower bed, the one with the multi colored begonias?” Oswald pointed to a lush display near the pool. “Do you remember it from yesterday?”

“Now that you mention it-I don’t.”

“It wasn’t there; yet this morning, here it is. The gardens get tended, the housework gets done, the cats are fed-but I’ve never seen anyone do any of these things; in all the years I’ve known Irena. I gave up long ago on trying to figure it out.” 

“But you trust her?”

“With my life. The day that Fish killed Don Maroni-my mother was here, at Irena’s, with Gabe. No one finds this place unless Irena wants them to; it’s my safe house. Not that I ever feel completely safe anywhere, anymore.” Oswald threw crumbs to some sparrows that’d congregated on the patio. “Except with you. It seems I have a lot to thank you for.”

“ I haven’t done much.” Jim suddenly felt embarrassed. “The most important thing, which I’ve failed to do-which is, figure out how to stop this from happening to you. Did Irena explain to you how to end the shape shifting problem?”

“She did. Excuse me for a moment, I’ve left something upstairs.” Oswald picked up the empty plates and headed for the kitchen.

Jim was left alone with his thoughts, looking at the new flowerbed. He was puzzled by how evasive Oswald was being; something was wrong.  
____________

During the drive back to Gotham, Oswald was uncharacteristically subdued. 

Jim kept trying to get him to open up. “But according to Irena, all you have to do is have your wish fulfilled, and you won’t change into a penguin anymore. Why won’t you tell me what your wish was?”

“You’ve done so much for me already. I can’t let you devote your whole life to helping me. Whenever the moon’s full, I can have Gabe lock me in my room.”

“So for five nights a month, you’ll be locked in a room, in a vulnerable condition, and no one’s ever going to catch on? Right. I guess you missed the part about this eventually killing you.”

Oswald spoke so quietly Jim could hardly hear him. “Nobody lives forever. I wished for something I can’t have, and that’s my own fault.”

“Please, tell me what you wished for. If you’d just tell me, maybe I could figure something out-maybe together, we could come up with something. You’re a fighter; you can’t let this destroy you.”

“Jim, it’s complicated. I have to think about how to explain it to you; I need some time.”

Jim left him alone for a while, ignoring the knot in his own stomach. He kept sneaking glances at Oswald, who looked utterly lost. He felt protective of him, possessive, even. He wasn’t about to walk away and leave him to deal with everything all alone.

The guards at the mansion’s gates waved them through; when Jim parked near the back door, Gabe came out; but stood facing pointedly away from the car.

“I’m coming over tonight, a couple of hours before sunset. I’m not asking; I’m telling you, so don’t argue. Also, don’t try to shut me out because I’m a stubborn asshat and I won’t take no for an answer. Ok?” 

“Yes, sir, Officer Gordon.” Oswald tried to smile. “Thank you. No one’s ever been kinder to me than you have.” He took Jim’s hand, and held it for a moment; then he was gone, disappearing into the house.

____________

Jim hadn’t been home long before his phone rang. It was Sarah, and she wanted him to meet her in her office in thirty minutes. 

When he arrived, Gillian Loeb was already there. 

“Good news, Jim.” Even as she smiled, she somehow managed to look worried.   
“Commissioner Loeb is here to reinstate you as a homicide detective.”

Jim sat down. “I’m glad to hear it.” He looked at Loeb suspiciously. 

“I had a chat this morning with our mutual friend, and he expressed his dismay that your talents were being wasted in the traffic division.” Loeb’s voice was flat, but his eyes were angry. “Congratulations, Jim; you always seem to land on your feet.”

“You’ve got the rest of the week off; you can start back next Monday. I couldn’t be happier!” Sarah was clearly eager for the meeting to end. She knew exactly how Jim felt about Loeb, and was praying they’d both remain civil. She didn’t want to lose Jim as quickly as she’d gotten him back.

Loeb stood to leave. “I will say- I never thought of you as someone who’d be willing to gain a promotion based on who he slept with. Especially if it meant being Mr. Cobblepot’s plaything.”

Sarah closed her eyes.

“Oswald and I share much more than a physical relationship. We’re soul mates, and we connect on a very deep, spiritual level. I’m sorry that you can’t simply be happy for us.”

Sarah opened her eyes. Loeb looked like he was going into shock. Sarah thought she might join him.

“See you next week, Sarah.” Jim paused at her office door. “Commissioner, I only hope that you, too, someday find that special person, who’ll make you as happy as I am right now.”

Outside, at his old desk, Harvey was waiting. “ Jimbo! Welcome back, partner!” Harvey grabbed Jim and hugged him.

Gillian Loeb slunk out of Sarah’s office, and looked over his shoulder at Jim; who flashed him a big smile -making sure to show all of his teeth- and waved. Loeb took off so fast he was almost running. 

Harvey was impressed. “Wow, you put the fear of God into that gollum-lookin’, piggy-eyed mutherfucker.. Whad’ja say to him?”

“Just told him how happy I was.” Jim’s phone buzzed; it was a text from Oswald.

“Jim- By now you should have your old job back. It was the least I could do. Don’t worry about me any more. I’ll handle my problems myself. Live your life and be happy. Your friend always. Oswald.”

____________

“Your name ain’t on the list, Officer Gordon.” The thug at the gatehouse looked as if he had the IQ of a banana pudding.

Jim feigned surprise. “I’m sure it’s an oversight. Could you possibly get Gabe on the phone for me?” 

The thug complied and handed his phone to Jim, who took it and rolled up his car window. “Gabe? I’m coming up to the house, and if I have to engage this fine gentleman in a shoot-out, I’ll do it. So tell him to open the gate.”

“Boss says he don’t wanna see you.”

“Boss doesn’t know what he wants, Gabe. He thinks he’s being noble by giving me up.”

“Boss said not to let you in.”

“Think, Gabe. Think for yourself. He’ll thank you later. You can blame me, tell him I said I was shot-bleeding to death.”

“Boss said you ain’t together no more.” There was a long silence. “He’s been nuts about you forever. He don’t know that I know, but he’s got a picture of you. When he’s had too much to drink he talks to it. It’s kinda sad.”

“Gabe. Please.”

There was another long pause, followed by an equally long sigh. “Give Chainsaw his phone back.”

Chainsaw let Jim through the gates. He drove to the back of the house, where Gabe met him at the kitchen door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The “unseen servants” are a feature of many fairy tales. I was thinking of the unseen servants in the beautiful 1946 film, La Belle et la Bette, directed by French poet and filmmaker Jean Cocteau.


	6. Lover's Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oswald and Jim get into a heated argument, but find a way to resolve their differences.

Gabe took Jim to the wing where Oswald’s private rooms were. The bedroom hadn’t been redecorated since Falcone left, and still looked like a set from “Married to the Mob”. The bed was a confection of cream and sky blue silk, gilt wood, and a multilayered canopy of swags and tassels held aloft by golden cherubs. Ostrich plumes ornamented the finial of each bedpost.

“Boss? Somebody to see you.” Gabe closed the door behind Jim.

Oswald was sitting with his back to the door, at a writing desk; his head in his hands. 

Jim cleared his throat. “It’s bad form to break up with somebody like that. A text? Seriously?”

“I don’t know how you got in, but our relationship was a ruse, remember?” Oswald pulled himself together as best he could, and turned to face Jim. 

“The part where I took an ice cold shower for the last two mornings sure felt real.”

Oswald blushed, despite himself. “I can’t help that.”

“I’m the only person who knows what’s happened to you. Who else is going to help you try to fix this?”

“It can’t be fixed. Oswald folded his arms. He refused to look Jim in the eye, choosing instead to sullenly study the carpet. “I’ve seen to it that you’ve regained your former status as a detective; you have meaningful work again, important things to do. You need not seek out charity cases, out of boredom. In addition to which, I don’t want you here. Now if that’s all, I’m extremely busy. I believe you know the way out.”

“I believe you know I’m not going anywhere. I know exactly what you’re doing; you’re trying to run me off, and I’m not going to abandon you.”

“Why not? You have a habit of abandoning me to the mercies of fate, if I recall correctly.”

“I explained that!”

“James, please stop shouting.”

“I’m not shouting!” The prisms on the chandelier shook.

Someone pounded on the door. “Boss? Everything all right in there?”

Jim threw the door open, and nearly yanked it off it’s hinges.

“We’re fine, Gabe. We’re having a lover’s quarrel. I know it’s loud, but it’s just a spat. Now unless you want to stick around for the make-up sex”..........Jim stopped when he saw Gertrud standing behind Gabe, her eyes wide.

“I’m very sorry, Ms. Kapelput. Your son and I are arguing because he doesn’t think he’s good enough for me.”

“What! My Oswald is good enough for anyone!”

“James Gordon! How dare you bring my mother into this!”

“I’ll do whatever it takes to bring you to your senses!”

Gabe took Gertrude’s arm, and hurried away. For a big guy, Gabe could move fast when he needed to. 

“Are you crazy?” Oswald clenched his fists and yelled at Jim. “What do you think you’re accomplishing here?”

“ I’m trying to reason with you! Do you think that after everything I’ve been through with you the last few days, I’m going to leave and let you deal with this mess all by yourself?”

 

“Don’t you get it? As long as you couldn’t stand me, you were safe. I could fantasize about you all I wanted to, knowing that you’d never have anything to do with me. There was no way I was ever going to drag you down. But now you’ve gotten involved in my life. You want to rescue me, because that’s what you do, you want to save me, because that’s what you do. It’s not personal; you’d do the same for anyone who was in trouble. And the worst part of all is this fake relationship, it was fun at first, but now I’m miserable because I wish it were real! There, now I’ve humiliated myself! Happy now, Jim?!?”

Jim took a few steps towards him. “Oswald, please.........”

“Here’s a good one! I made you think my life was in your hands to get your attention in the first place, did you know that? I thought if you saved my life, that would play into this thing you’ve got about being a hero. I asked Falcone to select you to kill me, because I knew you wouldn’t. I promised him if I lived, I’d come back to town and snitch on Maroni for him. Surprise, Jim! It was all pre-arranged! 

Oswald was clinging to one of the bedposts, the words spilling out in such a rush he couldn’t stop them. “But that’s not even the best part! The best part is how I got caught in my own trap, and fell for a man I could never, ever have. I ended up calling in every favor Falcone owed me, so he’d spare your life when he had you, and Barbara, and Harvey at his mercy. I set out to manipulate you, and I ended up screwing myself over. Isn’t that hilarious?” 

Oswald seemed on the verge of hyperventilating; Jim approached him cautiously. When there was no sign of protest, he moved nearer; close enough to touch him. There was no sound in the room except for the two men breathing. 

Finally, Jim broke the silence. “Please don’t send me away. I won’t be able to stand it.” 

Oswald looked bewildered. “I...I don’t understand.”

“I hate pretending that I don’t want you, because I do. I want you, for real, and I need to be with you, and I absolutely do care about you. I know I’m a complete idiot, but please, please don’t make me go.” Jim realized he was begging; he didn’t care.

Oswald reached out slowly, and grasped the lapels of Jim’s jacket. He looked up at the taller man; then buried his face in the front of Jim’s shirt, while Jim wrapped his arms around him and kissed the top of his head.

“Fighting with you is hard work,” Jim whispered. “I’m exhausted. I think I need to lie down. ”

“You don’t know everything there is to know about me. You don’t know what you’re in for,” Oswald murmured, his face still pressed against Jim’s shirt.

“I could say the same thing. Watch.” Jim shrugged out of his jacket, and dropped it on the floor; then followed it with his tie, belt, shirt, and pants. Oswald stared at the growing pile of clothes while Jim sat on the bed and kicked off his shoes. “See? I’m messy.” He pulled Oswald onto the bed, and began undressing him, throwing Oswald’s clothes onto the pile. “Now here’s one of your faults; you wear way too many clothes. Also, this bed is absolutely ridiculous looking.” 

When Jim tugged on Oswald’s socks, he grabbed Jim’s wrists . “My feet get cold.”

“Are you sure you’re not just being shy? Ok, we’ll both keep our socks on; and I’ll do my best to make sure the rest of you doesn’t get cold. How about that?”

Oswald rolled his eyes. “I’m naked except for my socks, I hardly think that indicates that I’m shy.”

“Let’s do some more research.” Jim drew Oswald to him, then paused. “I know we need to be careful with your leg, so you have to tell me if I’m doing anything that hurts it. I’m not clear about what happened to it.”

“Fish beat me with a chair and broke it, the day you pretended to shoot me.”

“Wait-I shoved you in the river with a broken leg? You must have been in so much pain, you could have drowned......” 

“Jim.” Oswald slid a hand around the back of Jim’s neck and pulled him closer, then planted a kiss on the side of his mouth. He ran his hands through Jim’s thick, blonde hair. “Kiss me. Please?”

Jim started by kissing Oswald’s collarbones, then moved to his throat; taking his time, running a hand over the smaller man’s torso; caressing his chest, lingering at his hip. He brushed his lips against Oswald’s, featherlight at first; then used his tongue to gently part his lover’s lips and deepen the kiss. Oswald responded hungrily, moving his mouth against Jim’s and following his lead; his hands eagerly exploring every bit of Jim he could reach.

Jim broke the kiss, laughing softly, when Oswald’s hands made their way to his waist. “Sorry,” he whispered, “I’m ticklish.” As they embraced, he felt something on Oswald’s upper back he hadn’t noticed before. Oswald allowed himself to be rolled over on his stomach; Jim saw what it was. Scars. Scars from beatings Oswald had endured. No wonder Oswald wore so many layers of clothing; not only to conceal himself from prying eyes, but to make himself feel protected from a world that had been everything but kind to him. 

Oswald shivered as Jim kissed his shoulders, and traced the scars with his tongue. Slowly, deliberately, he made his way down the length of Oswald’s back; touching, with affection and desire, flesh that had been marred by violence. 

Oswald turned to Jim, pushed him down, and kissed him again; open mouthed, messily; then relocated his mouth to Jim’s groin, where he put his lips and tongue to such good use, the thinking part of Jim’s brain shut down entirely. 

Notions of time became irrelevant; as did perceptions of where one person stopped and the other started. Need, repressed for what seemed like years, had become acute for both of them; nothing existed outside of the intense pleasure given and received by every touch, every movement. 

It could have been minutes, or hours, or centuries later that they climaxed; their bodies sliding together, arms around each other, Oswald crying out, his face pressed against Jim’s neck. They lay shaking on the sweat soaked sheets until Jim scooted over to the drier side of the bed, taking Oswald with him; and after another kiss, they both fell into a deep sleep. 

When Jim woke up, it was dark out. He could see the full moon through one of the bedroom windows. Oswald was nestled in his arms, his head on Jim’s chest.

“Ozzie? Ozzie, wake up!” 

“Wha....what’s wrong? Jim? What’s the matter?”

“Look! The moon’s risen, and look at you, you’re not a penguin!”

“I’m....not, am I?”

“This must mean you got your wish. You ready to tell me what it was?”

Oswald looked at him, his eyes shining. “I wished you felt the same way about me as I did about you.” The way that Oswald looked at Jim left no doubt about what he meant.

Jim held his breath. Something cold inside him broke into a million pieces; then broke again, and again, into ever-smaller fragments until there was nothing left; nothing but dust that mattered no more than the dust that swirled on the surface of the moon.

“Listen, Ozzie; I know it’s not going to be easy, and there’s a lot we’re going to have to work through. But we can do this; I know we can. We can leave Gotham, if that’s what it takes, I don’t care. Ask me for anything you want, just don’t ever ask me to give you up. What do you say?”

“I say yes.” He kissed Jim tenderly, and hugged his neck. “I also say that the former owner of this place had terrible taste, but this bathroom’s got a built in Jacuzzi that’s crying out to be used.”

“Mr. Cobblepot, I believe you’re a genius!” Jim climbed out of bed; picked Oswald up, bridal style, and carried him into the bathroom.

And in the tub they laughed, and talked; about the past; the present; and the future they were going to share together; and all the things lovers have always talked about under the light of a full moon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, dear reader, for your indulgence! I hope that you enjoyed this little fantasy as much as I enjoyed writing it.

**Author's Note:**

> There are between 18 and 22 living species of penguins; I chose the Humboldt Penguin for several reasons. In Episode 3 of Gotham, season one; Oswald introduces himself to Barbara Kean as “Peter Humboldt”. Humboldt Penguins are small enough that a person could pick one up and carry it around-they weigh about ten pounds. On land, they can run as fast as the average person.


End file.
